Reflections on living in refuge

“When I left my house, I was filled with fear and stress about me and my son. I really didn’t know how we would survive. But when I arrived in the refuge, I was welcomed so nice and I really appreciate the staff and my support worker who were great and supportive.

My support worker welcomed me and my son nicely and with a kind and beautiful smile. Then we reached the refuge. Everyone welcomed us nicely. Staff encouraged me. At that time, I felt satisfied with myself that I reached a good and safe place. From the beginning, everyone was helpful, kind and caring, and I’m very thankful for their support that they gave me in a time of need. Their support gave me comfort and hope in this time of great difficulty.

All the staff are kind and supportive, and I must say that they are not less than my family now. I thank God for having such great and supportive people around me. My DARA, [Domestic Abuse Refuge Advocate], supports me not only personally but emotionally, mentally and practically too. Me and my son got everything here which we wished for which we are thankful to my DARA.

There is a lot of support which impacted me personally like help with my immigration, universal credit, attending Freedom Programme, counselling, meetings with my support worker and being treated with sincerity, and taking part in lots of activities.  Because of all the encouragement, my confidence grew.

Living with other families was a very nice experience. I made some good friends and it was good to engage with so many families from other countries. We sometimes share our food, go to the park and spend time in the garden together.

Now I feel strong and I’m thinking about my future being bright. I can face every difficulty easily and I can do everything for my son’s future and also for myself. Counselling released my negativity and stress, the Freedom Programme gave me awareness of domestic abuse. I have my own finances to support myself and my son.

Lots of things make me feel proud of myself, like when I first spoke to my support worker in English and she supported and encouraged me, when I took part in Eid festivities and the staff appreciated me and encouraged me. First time I took my son to the hospital on my own and we managed well. I learned to bid on properties on the housing register – I thought it was very hard but with encouragement I learned to do it, I also learned to send emails.

I would be chained if I did not come here. I would be sacrificing my life, feel depressed, I would not do anything for myself. I lived in the past but after coming here, I learnt to enjoy life. It helped me build my confidence and strength.

Now I look forward to a bright future. I want to do something for myself now. I know I can fight any difficulty. If I compare my past with my present, like the life I was living with the life after I came here, it changed a lot.

[When you come to refuge], you are in a safe place, it’s like your own house and you can live here without any fear and stress. You can do anything here, we are like your family including all the staff. The staff take care of you, you just forget about things you faced in the past. You don’t think it’s just a refuge, it’s like your home. You can do anything you want now.”

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